I don’t know if anyone else struggles with believing that praying really does make a difference. I know that I do and I know that doesn’t sound like a very “Christian” thing to say but I want to be honest. When we started out on this whole journey of moving our family to El Salvador I started having a lot of fears. Fears that keep creeping up early in the morning when I’m still half asleep, or when I’m driving down the road, or any unguarded moment. I have fears that we won’t raise the money that we need to survive, I have fears that our kids will get sick with some rare disease, or that Jon will be targeted by gangs because he’s helping kids get off the streets. These are all things that terrify me, things that make me feel out of control, things that I should be praying about. I know that God is real, and I know that His Words are real but it’s tough to trust Him with this stuff and sometimes I wonder if He really will listen to my prayers, if what I say makes a difference or if it’s already laid out in wisdom that I don’t understand.
I have been struggling through the hard parts of getting ready to leave…packing, saying good-bye, preparing our kids, beginning our training. I have struggled with really feeling that God is near through this whole process. I think I get bogged down in the details and my own fears and forget that this is all God’s stuff to begin with.
Well this week God has reminded me that He loves me and that He is very much involved with our family and what we are doing. I have prayed for his reassurance and He has answered. This week during our language training He has really given me confidence that I can learn Spanish. He also has brought in additional money that we need to sustain our ministry in El Salvador. A fourth church has joined our support and prayer team…that’s another whole group of people committed to pray for us and to give to our work. That is amazing to me! We also received a very unexpected donation this week out of the blue. It means so much to us not only to have financial backing, but to know that people believe in us and they believe in what God wants to do through our service in El Salvador. I think this week God has been reminding me that He does love me and He does answer my prayers!